clear thoughts tied in black and blue knots

From Flaming Pablum. I think I am supposed to tag others, but I'd love for us all to have less pressure in our lives. If you want to do this, go for it.
FIVE THINGS....
...I don't understand:
1. the use of the singular "pant" when speaking of clothes that cover legs
2. people who push their way on to the train as others are trying to get out
3. why there is still no way for me to teleport
4. the religious right's take on Christianity
5. how the National Enquirer gets it right so often

...I bought on eBay:
1. Joel Plaskett's famous orange cowboy shirt
2. Cod Can't Hear featuring Sloan's "A Case of You"
3. discontinued favorite bra - as many "NWT"s as I can find
4. a brown replacement for my blue corduroy Wrangler jacket
5. Guys Next Door promo box

...I have but do not want:
1. a sunburn
2. anemia
3. an exciting, challenging, enviable job
4. a huge broken printer on my kitchen counter
5. dirty laundry

...I want but do not have:
1. room on my DVR for VH1 Classic's reairing of the first 24 hours of MTV
2. a drivers' license
3. my own house
4. a dog
5. a large iced coffee

Oh, now I have the iced coffee! Thanks, Dollo.

coming up only to hold you under

Today I love "The Alternative." Right now (well, at 2 in the morning, I'm just watching it now) they are playing "Everywhere That I'm Not" by Translators. Now that is alternative. Good work!

If you were on "Rock Star: Supernova," what would you sing? The show is obsessed with the mid-1990s, so I would totally do "Possum Kingdom" from the Toadies -- which I insist on calling "So Help Me Jesus" and/or "Do You Wanna Die?" because that is funny to me, like how I call TV movies by their plot ("My Dad, Robert Urich, Killed My Mom, Joanna Kerns Only I Didn't Believe he Did It, But Now I Do"). Also it reminds me of someone I used to work with who honestly thought that Nirvana's "Sliver" was really called "Grandma Take Me Home," also totally funny.

I have a new favorite song. It is called "The Funeral" and it is from Band of Horses. It is totally creepy and I love it. You can hear it!

Hey, did you know that everyone's favorite friends, Sloan, have a new song? They do. It's on their MySpace page. Also The Veils have a new song on their MySpace page. It's a good time to be me.

Well, maybe not so much. But I do go on vacation for a few days next week and that is just fantastic.

wake up girl, don't be a daydreamer

Is "The Bridge" the greatest show ever? Yes, it is. They just played "Sally Got a One-Track Mind." I live.

Speaking of — and I know I say this constantly, but ... — you really need to listen to the Gay Pimp podcast. This week's episode is wonderful but last week's was a revelation in high-concept genius. Jonny McGovern described his magical gay wedding featuring Martha Wash in a wedding dress and Aretha Franklin and Jonny's intended duetting on "Knew You Were Waiting For Me" as they walk down the aisle (seriously, if that doesn't get you to support same-sex marriage, I don't know what will).

Then it got better. How? I'm not sure I can even explain, but talk of Britney's "I'm country!" led to Linda James, I believe, saying "that went out with 'Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer' " (that's one of the most amazing things ever said, clearly), which turned into Britney singing "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" and then an anti-paparazzi Christmas album and then and then and then — by the end, Nick Lachey was dating Mrs. Claus. It was like a dream, really.

Oh, "The Bridge." Again. Another thing I love about it is the little "411" boxes that pop up. For example, "Though the Young Black Teenagers claimed their group name was simply a tribute to the black culture they loved and identified with, many found it ridiculous and/or offensive." Ahahaha! Indeed.

Here's a place to watch some more videos. Why? Because I love you.