dedicate them all to me

I saw SnapShirts' word cloud for web logs on Lifehacker or something and thought, "Oh, I should check that out." But when P.Phone did it, I had to follow.
A whole lot of nothing, which is just about right.

answer to all answers I can find

I just wrote four lines of dialogue for my book. Oh my God, they're awesome. I'm not sure where they will go, or really of anything at all about this book, but it's pretty exciting stuff.

I think I'm going to write a totally embellished memoir. I think probably a lot of people do that with fiction. And I think a lot of people do it with nonfiction and just never get caught. I find the James Frey drama so ridiculous. So I went and bought that book. Now I want to read it. But more importantly, I'm going to write my own book. First by socking away awesome bits of life and dialogue as I think of them. And the book will happen around it. I'd love to share the one bit I wrote, because I honestly love it, but what if one of the 98 million people who get here each day by looking up "I got soul but I'm not a soldier" steals it? We simply cannot have that.

Speaking of being careful and bloody thieves, I am going crazy over a great story that I can't tell anyone. At my job, we have this daily meeting (in addition to many other meetings) and we talk about ideas for future things. Sometimes the things are too far in the future for me and that's annoying. But today was so super annoying, because it was the greatest story ever told, right, except our coverage of this didn't happen yet so I can't say, "Yay! Go see this. It is amazing." And it's a secret like everything else in the meeting, so I can't say, "Hey, listen to this thing that's going to happen! It's amazing!" Not even to my mom. When it happens though, (maybe next week!) it will be so amazing. I will tell you all about it and not forget to and miss the boat like with Kevin Federline grooving to his own song which I could have sent to you like a month ago and forgot. But if you'd like to see it (or any number of other wonderful things), go straight to the source, would you? Overdrive.MTV.com. And click News. I'd love to send you exactly to the exact spot, but I can't see Overdrive at home because of dang Digital Rights Management. Plus so much of it is so good. I'm not even joking you.

make the magic last for more than just one night

Perhaps when people keep dying, what I need to do is learn to get living. For who knows when I'll get cancer or be hit by a cop car or shot?

With that in mind, I resolved Monday at 4:30AM to quit my job, just because it was making me cranky. Of course, once the day gets really going and it turns out that everyone is making things better not worse and the one person (and that could have been anyone) who is going to say the thing that makes me pack it in never does, that resolution seems less pressing. By 3PM I was in a meeting focused on the future, talking about contributing my own genius ideas and getting a heads-up about upcoming performance reviews. Alright then.

At 6:15PM I was at the movies, seeing my long-standing love Ethan be all super hot and hot. Oh, he was hot. Then we went to go to a rock show, but it was starting an hour later than expected. So we went to have a wonderous cupcake. Slowly. And then we returned to the rock show. There were seats to be had at the bar, and good drinks for a fair price. These are simple joys, but their power cannot be denied.

When we got inside the show spot and spied the much loved former sometimes current member of the band there for what was billed as a solo performance, there was a feeling of magic. The show started, it was excellent. And then James Iha and Jason Schwartzman came in. And then, who should follow but the prettiest pretty prettypants ever? Yes, Taylor Hanson. Who was not only at a Mike Viola show, but was at a Mike Viola show sitting with James Iha and Jason Schwartzman. What? Yes.

Rather than turn into a weirdy strange-o (as happened when I actually spoke to that lovely and amazing Internet couple I ran into at that other Mike Viola show -- and no, I will not link), I opted to not talk to Jason or Taylor (I have nothing to say to Mr. Iha, and if I did, I could have done so at the 40 million Sloan shows I've seen him at). But I'm afraid that Taylor totally caught me singing "Just Tay" (Thanks to that one magazine called Just Tay! that I once saw like 9 years ago, the same day of Aaron Carter: I Am My Own Twin Sister -- oh man, no one gets any of these references, and this is why I have to write an embellished memoir) in the style of James Ingram (If you know, you know you love it. And now me.) after the show when I thought he'd left. Also, I think he heard me say "Ooh, Tay!" to Mike Viola. Oh well.

Anyway, on days like these I forget why I stopped going anywhere or doing anything. Even without enough sleep, I am feeling strangely fine today.

Oh, and just so you know, here's the email I wrote in the cab home:

• TO: Kim
  SUBJECT: Oh butt
  
  Oh kim oh. To see a movie of ethan (HOT HOT ETHAN) and then to go see mike viola + todd AND even who is in the audience but 3rd rock from the sun lady AND james iha AND jason schwartzman AND (it gets crazy) JUST TAY! So I had to sing "just tay". It was more 1997 than 1997. Ps I love you. You you you!

at an awful stage

It would almost be funny if it wasn't real, if it wasn't so totally awful.

Someone else I like was killed. They shot him "at least four times" before speeding off in a white Jeep Cherokee, according to reports. And because of this city's alarming stop snitching tradition, whoever did this will likely never be arrested. It's disgusting.

Oshay was my neighbor growing up, the real-life boy next door. These days he was an aspiring rapper and worked at the Bronx Zoo. He was 26.

fly high Duluth

I am still cranky, and my life is still a butt, but I do continue to like things that are great. I thought I should mention that for the dozens who get here searching for "I like things that are great." And while I'm at it, howsabout a list of things that are currently great:

• Duluth Live on "SNL" this weekend. And Scarlett's wig in that sketch. It is my dream hair. I even have that same haircut, but mine never looks that good.


• W2s come soon! That is going to be a good show.


• Mrs. Martini's resurfacing.


• Buffalo real estate prices. I'm totally moving. Girl, there's a better life, etc.


• Voyant Chai Cream


• Hob Nobs but I only have one left.

I'm getting used to the floor

I am cranky and my life is a butt, in case you were wondering.

Tomorrow I go to the doctor for my first checkup in, I don't know, 25 years? Maybe while I'm there he can tell me why I have no voice for five days.

Friday, I'll spend my fourth day in a funeral home in three weeks. The most amazing part of this is that I've experienced what it's like to lose someone who was sick and about the right age for dying (although I could have used another 20 or so years), and *now* I get to have the angry experience of losing someone who was 20 years younger than that, totally healthy and hit by a speeding cop car. Cop car. My favorite part of this has to be the news reports. Especially the ones that get all the facts wrong, like instead of saying, "Police are investigating whether the officer had lights and sirens on," say, "Police are investigating why the victim didn't see the lights and sirens." Oh. Yeah.

PS, If you're looking for a quick exit from this world and you know me, think about a trip to Florida. I can't keep a loved one down there breathing. Which must mean it's overtaken Colorado as my favored Seat of All Evil.

I love Dan Abrams

Quote of the day:
"Comparing a guy who tried to kill his friend with Santa Claus doesn't quite work."

I really have to make a commitment to watch this more. It is so reassuring that there is someone anyone on TV or anywhere in the world who I agree with on so many issues. Plus he says fun things like that. And is incredibly cute. So yes, I resolve to spend more time with Dan Abrams in 2006.