the sun will always shine where you stand

My Pop Pop is sick. Really sick. Not getting better sick. I flew down to Florida to spend some time with him this weekend. I'm very glad that I did.

There's something about a Pop Pop or a Poppy or a Grandpa or whatever, where you always still feel like a little girl when you are with them. I was only 5 when my Poppy died, so I really was still a little girl when I was with him, but even at 30, sitting watching football with my Pop Pop, looking over as his eyes close -- as they have in front of the TV for as long as I've known him -- I still feel like a little girl.

When he shuffled over to put his arm around me on his way to a nap the day I arrived, I squealed with total joy, like I did when I wasn't even in school yet and he'd drag my little hand on his scratchy 5 o'clock shadow at the end of the day, just to hear me laugh.

We went out to the American Legion on Saturday, his first time out since the big stinking diagnosis in August. When they asked me what I wanted, I picked the same beer as him. He hadn't seen his friends in a long time and they were all coming around and they were just lovely. But I kept looking over to check on him, see if I could see anything in his face that said he needed something or was hurting or wanted to leave. And the one time I caught his eye, he winked and smiled. My heart got so full of happy that I had to cry right there. And right now again. That and the shuffle hug and the look on his face when I first arrived are right up there in the greatest moments of my life, I tell you.

you better stay my friend

Today I was taking the bus home, and it took 49 hours to go a mile. The bus driver honestly was going 15 mph, plus there were 682 people on the bus who kept getting on and off. So annoying. Anyway, while waiting for 218 of these 682 people to get on, I saw two old people from my old life (the one where I had no money but fun). I didn't talk to either of them (one was walking by the bus singing along with his headphones and one got on the bus talking to himself) but all I could think was, "Man, I miss having no job."

PS Is that psycho fake fireman rapist freak hiding out in Greenpoint now, or are they just hanging Wanted signs everywhere? I will X-Acto the f-ing s- out of that b-. For reals. I'm the new Charles Bronson, you know. I need to find a way to make being an awesome vigilante lucrative. Speaking of that, did you know that I accidentally didn't vote for Bernard Goetz for public advocate? Because when I realized it, I was crushed.

I hate thinking

iTunes Meme
Open iTunes or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library.

HOW MANY SONGS? - 4,181

SORT BY SONG TITLE
first - "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" - The Fatima Mansions
last - "Zoo Pie" - Guided by Voices

SORT BY TIME
first - "A Toast by Orson Welles" - Jedediah Parish (0:04)
last - "I'm Happy, She Said" - M83 (17:50)*

SORT BY ALBUM
first - 1Love (Warchild) - Various Artists
last - Zombie Heaven - Zombies

TOP FIVE MOST PLAYED SONGS
1. "All These Things That I've Done" - The Killers
2. "Lonely Times" - The Push Kings
3. "Smile Like You Mean It" - The Killers **
4. "Haunted By You" - Gene
5. "Andy" - Mike O'Neill

FIRST SONG THAT COMES UP ON SHUFFLE
"Yasaweh" - Kiki & Herb

find “sex.” how many songs come up?- 30
find “death.” how many songs come up?- 17
find “love.” how many songs come up?- 250

* longest single song. I also have mixes (by myself and others) that go over an hour. And audiobooks.
** Two Killers songs? Who knew?

the difference it made was great

I took a nap today (man, watching the marathon really tires me out -- I think it's all the clapping) and had a dream that I was having plane check-in troubles and everyone in the terminal was dressed up for Halloween, and Tabitha was there, also that Tom Hanks was my counter helper, and his wife just stood next to him the whole time even though she didn't even work there. There was yelling. It sucked.

Yesterday I finally met my new friend, Baby Soda, who I'm pretty sure is my first electronics product that is a girl. Though I am not sure what Hi-Fi, my Sidekick, is. Anyway, Baby Soda is a shout out that I can't even begin to explain (you wish you knew!). It had to be called Baby something though, because it is such a teeny tiny. I can't even believe how small. Eeee!

stumble in my footsteps

I've only been taking the subway on a daily basis for about 12 years, so I don't have all the amazing, funny, horrifying, sad, unbelievable stories that my mom has. As such, I think I saw today the strangest thing I have ever seen on the train.

So I was on the L train, right, and on the floor in front of an unoccupied seat were the following: work boots, a box of Ritz and a box of ice tea mix. All were empty. The (pretty new looking) boots were sitting upright and looked like the person wearing them just turned invisible. The lady sitting next to the boots looked incredibly uncomfortable (probably because everyone kept looking at the boots and then at her like "Huh?"), which I found highly amusing. So I had to keep looking at the boots and smirking. But for real, what happened to the person who belonged to those boots? He or she was totally not in that subway car, that is for sure. So so weird.

Speaking of weird, I don't even remember how I came across this, but Diaryland Andrew has been writing again, it seems. Oh Andrew. So funny. Today when I sat at work an hour past leaving time waiting on a teeny little addition to a story (It was my favorite writer, so it was OK), I ended up reading and laughing. So good.

call me Daddy Stan

OK, so I finally listened to the Kevin Federline song, and am I crazy/deaf, or is he saying "Back then they called me Gay Bait, but now they call me Daddy Stan"? Because that is what I am hearing. And it makes no sense.

I don't want to go out

I can't get the "I like things that are great/Good things are fantastic" Alec Baldwin as Tony Bennett song out of my head. Which is really pretty fantastic.

It is so great and fantastic to be home, but I have to go out again. Scott Fellers better appreciate it.