we were on and off, on and off, on and off again

Things that are true:

Kim should come back like right away.

I have "Baby Doll" from "Tapeheads" stuck in my head.

Wreckless Eric is a great show to see.

Cold turkey is the only way to quit longhaired musicians with glasses. Now I only like dentists with perfect eyesight.

I am way too tired to make paragraphs.

Me and Mandy Moore will probably become best friends this week.

Crab cakes need to be more readily available.

The New York Islanders (ughh) do not deserve Thomas Pock.

"Kim fun" sometimes sounds like Kam Fung.

My deep dark tan still seems to have gotten deeper and darker over the weekend.

The greatest bracelet ever is now mine.

The FreeCreditReport.com commercials are the worst. ever.

I forgot to make Kim watch the reggaeton IO commercial. (Watch it!)

I forgot to take Kim to Pio Pio.

Pio pio is really fun to say.

Probably a great song for me to sing is "Surrender" by Trixter, mostly because "Give It to Me Good" sounds too dirty.

Dollie never thought of making me an intervention.

three hams will thrill him

I went to Minneapolis! I had fun with my favorite people! I watched great TV shows! I went to parties! I did not go into a hot tub and faint, but I DID go to the fair, meet a chicken and try amazing and scary foods!

What I Tasted at the State Fair, by Jane

• Pickle Dog
• Pronto Pup (with mustard)
• Big Fat Bacon
• Nutella and marshmallow crepe
• Culligan water
• Wild Cherry Pepsi
• Cheese Curds
• Fudge Puppy
  
• Frozen Cider
• Roasted Corn on the Cob
  
• Spam Curds
• Pig Lickers
• Michelob Amber Bock
• Cream Puff
• Leinenkugel Light
• Perfect Pickle
  
• Bull Bites

if you're looking for me ...

Five searches that rank this page #1:

• stab myself in the neck
• It's the last thing that's holding me
• don't regret of what you have done
• Eleanor Gee I think youre swell anor
• Can I go nowhere with you Joel Plaskett

Via SiteMeter. I'm also the top search result for "Cool Ice, Cold Soda" but that's by default. And nobody's looking that one up.

Ooh, hockey soon!

clear thoughts tied in black and blue knots

From Flaming Pablum. I think I am supposed to tag others, but I'd love for us all to have less pressure in our lives. If you want to do this, go for it.
FIVE THINGS....
...I don't understand:
1. the use of the singular "pant" when speaking of clothes that cover legs
2. people who push their way on to the train as others are trying to get out
3. why there is still no way for me to teleport
4. the religious right's take on Christianity
5. how the National Enquirer gets it right so often

...I bought on eBay:
1. Joel Plaskett's famous orange cowboy shirt
2. Cod Can't Hear featuring Sloan's "A Case of You"
3. discontinued favorite bra - as many "NWT"s as I can find
4. a brown replacement for my blue corduroy Wrangler jacket
5. Guys Next Door promo box

...I have but do not want:
1. a sunburn
2. anemia
3. an exciting, challenging, enviable job
4. a huge broken printer on my kitchen counter
5. dirty laundry

...I want but do not have:
1. room on my DVR for VH1 Classic's reairing of the first 24 hours of MTV
2. a drivers' license
3. my own house
4. a dog
5. a large iced coffee

Oh, now I have the iced coffee! Thanks, Dollo.