never knew love like this before

Here's the thing about Valentine's Day: Unless you only have goofy loser friends who are all creepily attached to some stranger or who are self-pitying wallowers or something, it is awesome. If you are single. This is because it is a magical excuse to buy presents and celebrate and, if you're into it, wear pink or red. And I love presents and celebrations. And pink and red.

I also love coming up with a good card, which is damn near impossible. First off, I have a very odd lifestyle situation. I sort of have a husband and a wife, and neither union is recognized by the church or state. And we're all allowed to have boys of our own. We are family. We live together and we love each other very much, though not in that way, and so it is tough to buy a card that makes sense. The "friend" cards are all too vague and express no emotion. The "husband" cards all mention weddings and kids and sexing. And the wife cards always have pictures of romantic couples on them or say "husband." Ugh. Bitches, you don't know my life.

So I end up making cards very often. The tragedy of this is that I totally blew it two years back by making the best card ever, a card for Dollo with R. Kelly on the cover and a message that stated something to the effect of "Though competition is heating up, you're still my favorite molester." Please do not even try to understand what she has to do with R. Kelly and molesting. It is a great inside joke, with the stress on great. Now how the hell do I top that, hmm? Can't do it. Foiled again by my own greatness.