I take a guess: Is someone shopping at Payless?

I found a house that I want to buy. It's in Buffalo. It's white and brick, with four bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms and refinished (super shiny!) hardwood floors. I love it.

And I found a vacation I want to take. It's in Peru. There is glorious Machu Picchu, plus a fancy hotel with a bath butler — I never heard of this, but now that I've seen the results, I know I need it.

Now I just need $120,000 to do both right. Pretty cheap, when you think about it. So pay up, someone. Thanks!

On Saturday, on my way home from running out to buy medicine, I cried all the way home. But it was laughing. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant went through all the verses of "Old Mother Hubbard," and that mess is crazy. Seriously, crying. I should post it somewhere. I probably won't though. For I am lazy in that way. I'm sorry.