take control of having what you want around you

I know I'm not totally old yet, for while I am finding it impossible to get to sleep lately, I am butt tired when I get up, unlike older folk, many of whom seem totally satisfied with four hours of sleep. What? I can't even imagine.

My birthday was so magic. First I went away and lost tons of money and had fun with my family. There was dancing and drinking and gambling and shopping and presents! Then I came home to more presents — and balloons and chai and cake!

I won't list my presents, lest you get so jealous you can't carry on in your day. Then I got my hair cut, finally, and then I tried to go to dinner, but the bastardly place I'd chosen was playing a baseball game. Are you kidding me? Well, they weren't kidding, were they, so we went to Black Betty, a great place to hide from baseball. They let us sit in the bar and eat, which was fantastic as you have much more room, and can be really loud. That was excellent, and just what we needed.

Then we went to Supreme Trading, but everyone looked to be 22 and magically imported from a bar on the Upper East Side, so we left and went to the Abbey, which was heated to be somewhere between 90 and 126 degrees and full of aural punishments that I didn't deserve. I have never heard worse music coming out of a jukebox ever in my entire life. This was not working for me, but I gave it a 90-minute effort because bartender Joe is just that sweet.

Then we went to Mugs, which I've walked past for seven years and never went in. It was good. We got a table, they didn't play horrible music, and everyone got to hear stories of my family's battles with wildlife. This included the infamous, "Something is on your shoulder, and I'm pretty sure it's a frog leg" slug debacle, as well as an explanation of why I instinctively jump on furniture, scream and call people when something living is in my house that I didn't invite, such as a mouse. It's inborn, you see.

Then I came home and tried to watch TV even though it was 3AM. I went to bed soon after, attempted to read the Enquirer, failed and woke up at 11:30, getting a good solid 8-hour sleep in preparation for a day of sitting around and watching TV. I did not leave the house once on my own private Boxing Day. It was great.